"You can learn how to be bitchy, but you don't really have to be a bitch."
In other words, you can act like an extrovert, but you don't really have to be one. (and vice versa)
Public speaking and networking or people skills have high importance and becomes more salient when we progress from school to work. A few examples include job interviews or even scholarship interviews, where in some cases the interviewers will look for those with good "people skills" as in how well they voice out their opinions and how they disagree with others without being too aggressive. A common misconception is that some people tend to believe that public speaking are for those with extravert characteristics, and settle with a delusional belief that some people are just born with the ability to speak well in public. However, there are a number of introverts who have capabilities in networking and public speaking, such as Abraham Lincoln, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet. Besides, not all extroverts are necessarily good at it naturally. The truth is, you can change your behaviour, not your character; you can overcome your shyness, but you can't change your introvert characteristics. So, the question is, how can introverts (or anyone who's interested- extroverts or introverts) acquire these skills?
There are only two ways and there is no shortcut to this.
I learned public speaking while I was in the marching band (unexpectedly). Back in 2010, I was appointed as the Drum Major because there were no other candidates left and I had to take the job. Being introverted, I was more used to spending my time with smaller groups and I was very uncomfortable with the fact that I had to lead a group of 80 band members. I was very horrible, even infront of my own juniors because I stammered and mispronounced words a lot to the extent that my juniors made fun of me from behind- and it was very embarassing since I know I have to face this for many more months as the Drum Major.
So, I had no choice but to push myself out of my comfort zone in order to improve my speaking as well as leadership skills. Question is, how? I didn't like to read any books because there were too many words and I rather spend my time on playing video games. One day, I followed my dad to a bookstore and I scanned through the books under the non-fiction section. I realised that many of these books are practical advises to help us to grow, and I felt like these books might be relevant for me. I purchased a book called Influencer by Kerry Patterson, read it but didn't understand half of it because it was very "wordy". Nevertheless, there's a slow progress because I start to pick up these concepts and I continued to read more books.
As I progressed, reading slowly becomes a habit, not because I was so disciplined (if you know me well, I'm a very lazy bum) but because I felt like I'm growing//learning a lot from it. Here's a list of recommended books that are related to leadership skills and public speaking that helped me a lot (including the book, Influencer that I mention above)
How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
The Art of Public Speaking by Dale Carnegie (at least read this one!)
Drive by Daniel H. Pink
Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
Start with Why by Simon Sinek
Like any other skills that you learn such as music or maths, we all need to have some practice. There are a lot of platform out there where we can improve our public speaking skills. If you are still in school, join a debate team, Model United Nations (MUN) or a public speaking competition. If not, find out about your local toastsmasters club. Toastmasters club aim to help those who want to improve their public speaking in a very friendly environment, so I highly recommend it as it is certainly worth the investment. Not enough time to join these societies? Then go online, there are actually FREE classes for public speaking online, all you have to do is look. One website that I would suggest you to go is this https://www.coursera.org/learn/publicspeaking. Although the lecturer won't be able to give you direct feedbacks, there's always peer-based assessment where you can join a facebook group and ask them to give you feedbacks, or just ask your friends to help you. If you want to practise anytime anywhere, try start a conversation with a stranger.
Back to focusing on the introvert and extrovert subject...
"There is no correlation between the best speaker and those with the best ideas." - Susan Cain, author of Quiet.
Energy excites, charisma inspires.
RAHHH!!! With a roar, Steve Ballmer, the man who replaced Bill Gates as CEO of Microsoft, bursts onto the stage of the company's annual global summit meeting. Ballmer loves Microsoft- he says so in no uncertain words. He also knows how to pump up a crowd. His energy is almost folkloric. He pumps his fists and runs from one end of the stage to the other, he screams and he sweats. He is remarkable to watch and the crowd loves it. As Ballmer proves, without any doubt, energy can motivate a crowd. But can it inspire a population? What happens the next day or the next week when Ballmer's energy is not therer to otivate his employees? Is energy enough to keep a company of about 80,000 people focused?
In contrast, Bill Gates is introverted and awkward, a social misfit. He does not fit the stereotype of the leader of a multibillion-dollar corporation. He is not the most energetic public speaker. When Bill Gates speak, however, people listen with bated breath. When he speaks, he doesn't rally a room, he inspires it. Those who hear him take what he says and carry his words with them for weeks, months or years. And that is an exemplary of a good leadership.
What makes a great leader?In his book, Good to Great, Jim Collins defines what he calls "level 5" leaders, as those with strong professional will and genuine personal humility. Leadership isn't just about giving instructions or telling others what to do, its also about listening to those around you. To those who are more extraverted, learn to listen. To those who are introverted, learn to speak up.
For my next post, I will write about the golden circle of why inspired by Simon Sinek. Since I will be having exams, it would be most likely that I will post after the exams which is at the end of this month. But nevertheless, do subscribe to my blog for more! :)
Thanks for your time to read.
(ps. Carl Jung clarified that there is no such thing as absolute introvert and absolute extrovert. There's a range of spectrum to these traits, meaning that some people can be mostly introverted and a bit extroverted)